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Click hereMay 1st:
It's my fith date with Killian tomorrow. Things are going great!. He's so kind and funny. He's interesting. He's interested in my life! God, I'm falling bad!! An underneath it all there's that glimpse of danger, of things unsaid. I think he's had quite a lot of experience, if you know what I mean, but he's only dropped hints so far.
That kiss too! It was a week ago and I can still feel it lingering. The warmth of his lips cradling mine, slightly drawing my lip, god all of me, into him. So soft and slow, but I felt like he had complete control over me. I've never... wilted, quite like that.
So... Ive decided to go further tomorrow. All the way maybe. Im going to invite him back, fuck I hope he agrees, and we'll see where things go. But it's been quite a while. People say it's like riding a bike right! I hope that's true. Anyway, I figured I would spend this evening preparing.
Writing this, I feel like it's one of those classical armouring passages, like im Ajax or something readying myself on the eve of battle. Battle? Im not sure that's quite right, maybe a battle with my own little insecurities. Certainly, I am preparing for vigorous physical activity. I hope. Regardless, it kind of feels right, so, I'm going to lean in to the conceit.
It started in the bath. I ran it hot, letting the warmth seep into me. Melting any tension in my muscles. All my muscles! I scented the bath with eucalyptus and forced my mind to still, as much as I could. I took in the woody smell. I tried to focus on the lapping water, rippling over my breasts as I gently rocked my shoulders. The water coursing gently between my legs as I moved.
God writing this feels pretentious. Indulgent?... But it's kind of turning me on.
So, I stayed like that for a good 20 minutes, maybe daydreaming a little about Killian. Then I started to shave. I was relatively trim anyway and didn't want to go completely bald like some little girl, but it also felt like an important part of the ritual. I decided to leave a little bit in the middle and put shaving cream on. I took my razor and slowly ran it down one side. I pulled my skin taut which immediately sent a ripple of warmth through me and then scraped away the hair feeling little jolts as I snagged a follicle. I ran the razor down two more times before turning to the other side, leaving only the barest hint of stubble.
After shaving I luxuriated. I did this for much longer than normal, using the combination of nerves and anxiety to fuel the feeling of sensuality. I had a glass of merlot and some dark chocolate next to me. I reveled in the rich sharpness of the wine on my tongue exaggerating the bitter sweetness of the chocolate. Bliss. I let my hands wander too. Not my normal goal orientated, well wank, for want of a better word. This time I was slow, almost like I was stoking the long unattended embers of my sexuality.
I ran my fingers up my thigh, alternating between pad and nail, toying with how high I went. I rand my hand over my belly, slow and feather light, getting as far as my tuft of pubic hair but no lower. Then I went up to my breasts. I've never been into nipple play. Never considered them particularly sensitive, but this time I used more pressure. I pinched them between thumb and forefinger. Just enough to ache. Then I let go, letting the pain diffuse away in a shower of tingling. Well, that was new! I don't know what got into me, but it was really fun feeling a little naughty.
After the bath my ritual continued. I towelled down, far more aware than normal of the rough texture of the towel against my skin. Then I lay in bed rubbing moisturiser into my parched skin. I was pretty firm at first, stubbornly pressing any lingering tension from my body. Then I went back to the light, long strokes. This time my fingers glided with the aid of the moisturiser. I almost imagined my fingers as little ice skaters dancing on a lake. I got so into it, my hands started to drift, and I almost forgot to wash my hands. The last thing I want is to be stinging down there for tomorrow!
When I finally paid some attention down there I was soaking! Running my fingers over the clit the first couple of times felt like it was sending a jolt of electricity through me. Feeling the need to" warm up" for tomorrow, I took my larger dildo out. I've barely used it in the past few years I've owned it. It always felt like a struggle, so I always went for the easy option. This time, I felt I needed the challenge.
I didn't have any lube so I positioned the tip against me and tried to transfer as much of my wetness as I could. My lips caught as I tried to push further, and I had to reposition a couple of times before I felt the tip properly part me. I slowly, doggedly, pushed it deeper and deeper as I lay on my back, knees drawn up. God it was big. For a while, it felt like it would split me in two, but slowly I forced myself to relax around it. Once in as far as it would go I held it there. I started to relish the fullness, the pressure against my walls. I started rubbing my clit quickly getting close. I started moving the dildo but barely had time for three or four big thrusts before I had a massive orgasm!
Now I'm lying in bed, warm, sated and still simmering with nerves. Let's see what tomorrow brings.